Why I Watch True Blood

Last night I watched back-to-back episodes of True Blood after being on vacation for a week, and as I was sitting there watching this ridiculous HBO “drama” it occurred to me I wouldn’t have any interest whatsoever were it not for the sex. I’m not sure what that says about me other than perhaps I am willing to lower my standards for a little soft-core porn. Hey, I’ve been married nearly 20 years — I’m willing to take what I can get!

My wife is going through a vampire stage so I got stuck watching this show early on in the first season. I didn’t want to watch it at first, but as soon as I saw Anna Paquin strutting around in her Daisy Dukes and mounting vampire Bill Compton I was hooked. I could care less about the storyline…I just enjoy the constant sexual innuendo, sexy women and, well, the hot and steamy vampire sex! All the women on this show are hot, from sultry red-headed teen vampire Jessica to bi-curious waitress Tara to the former queen of Louisiana Sophie-Anne (played by the very sexy Evan Rachel Wood). But all the hot babes take a backseat to Paquin’s Sookie Stackhouse.

Apparently Sookie is a faerie and emits a scent that is intoxicating to vampires. I can’t smell anything through my television screen, but my sense of sight is not lost on Paquin. When did the little girl from The Piano become so hot? She may have won an Oscar at 11, but she’s steaming up my plasma screen at 29. And it doesn’t hurt to know that she is apparently sexually liberated in real life as well, as she came out of the closet as bi-sexual recently even though she is married to co-star Stephen Moyer. Hot damn!

Everyone is having hot sex in this show and because it’s on HBO we get to see just enough skin to whet the appetite. True Blood has man on woman, woman on woman, man on man, woman on vampire, man on vampire, male vampire on male vampire and female vampire on female vampire. Last night a bunch of female werepanthers gang-banged Sookie’s brother Jason. It’s a veritable orgy of fantasy sex.

The best thing about watching True Blood is that my wife introduced me to it and we watch it together, so it’s officially sanctioned soft-core porn! Not sure why she let’s me watch this with her but still turns the channel when a Victoria’s Secret commercial comes on, but I’m not complaining. All I can say is thank god for Alan Ball and HBO!