Leslie Gutman turns 50 years old today and she’s not happy about it. Time is a bitch that never slows, and while 50 is a monumental age I don’t think it’s something to fear, rather it’s something to embrace. Hell, a lot of humans don’t make it to half a century, and many who do don’t look half as good as Leslie. I mean, she still gets carded buying alcohol sometimes.

But what Leslie is failing to realize is that she may be 50, but inside she still lives her life like she’s 25. She is physically active, she has a robust work life, she has lots of friends, she travels, she’s relatively healthy, her mind is sharp. She’s a freak of nature. She epitomizes youthful exuberance — and frankly I wish I had just a fraction of her joie de vivre.

So to honor my wonderful wife on this special occasion, I submit to you 50 reasons why I love her. Truthfully, it only took me a few minutes to come up with these and I could have kept going all day. I love everything about her (even the things that drive me crazy). Isn’t that what love is really all about?

In no particular order, here you go:

1. I love how she literally saved my life…twice.
2. I love how she puts the needs of others above her own.
3. I love how she plans recurring medical appointments on her birthday so she doesn’t forget them
4. I love how whenever I’m feeling down about something she reminds me how great I have it
5. I love how she still giggles like a little girl when she hears something silly (this is the Piccadilly line to Cockfosters!)
6. I love how messy she keeps her car and fights me if I try to clean it up as if she knows where everything is and there’s a reason for it
7. I love how she’s always prepared for anything
8. I love that she volunteers to do taxes for the under-served
9. I love how she celebrates the hell out of Christmas even though she’s an atheist
10. I love how wherever we go on vacation she buys a new Christmas ornament for the tree to remind us of the trip
11. I love how she never goes outside without a hat, sunscreen, and water
12. I love how much she helps Connor with the big decisions in life (and the small ones too)
13. I love how much she enjoys bad reality TV
14. I love the fact that she cooks dinner almost every night even after a hard day’s work
15. I love how tipsy she gets after just one Mojito
16. I love how she looks so damn young that she still gets carded all the time
17. I love how she can talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything
18. I love how unconditionally she loves her family (except for her brother. Did you even know she has a brother?)
19. I love how she tries on 10 different outfits before heading out for the day and then just when you think she’s got it set she emerges from the bedroom with something else on
20. I love how every day she comes home from work and asks me the same question – anything exciting happen today? (as if)
21. I love how she embraces Connor’s friends as if they are her own kids
22. I love how she likes Flo Rida and Pitbull despite how crappy their music is
23. I love how diligently she plans vacations, leaving nothing to chance
24. I love how she unabashedly loves any television show with vampires, werewolves, or demons
25. I love how she watches the evening news every day even though the news is a shit show and never seems to change
26. I love how she drives with the driver’s seat back in what looks to me like the most uncomfortable way possible
27. I love how uncomfortable she is with change (wait, we’re switching from Google Play Music to Spotify?)
28. I love how she calls to check in on my parents more than I do
29. I love how she keeps a drawer full of greeting cards for every occasion just in case
30. I love how even after 25 years of marriage she still knows how to turn me on (sorry, TMI)
31. I love how dedicated she is to watching Kentucky basketball simply because she has a long-term crush on Coach Calipari
32. I love how competitive she is no matter what’s at stake
33. I love how whenever she sees something she doesn’t like at work she writes a sternly worded memo to the highest ranking executive she can find
34. I love how she’s remained dedicated to her company for more than 25 years even while I’ve changed jobs 13 times in the same time period
35. I love her smile
36. I love how everyone I know calls her for advice about life
37. I love how she manages our finances so spectacularly that I haven’t bothered to log into our bank account website in…like…forever
38. I love how she pronounces eggs like aygs
39. I love how much she likes the Saturday Night Safety Dance on SiriusXM 1st Wave
40. I love how she can find anything on the Internet. Seriously, she’s a web ninja.
41. I love how she gets teary eyed during sappy television commercials
42. I love how when she puts her mind to something you might as well call it done
43. I love how she’s already got a dog picked out to replace me when I croak (and she’s even named the damn thing after me)
44. I love how much she knows about finance
45. I love that she’s stuck with me through thick and thin
46. I love how loyal she is to brands she loves
47. I love how she plays off a Malaprop as if she meant to say it
48. I love how much she loves and cares for Connor
49. I love how she goes to the doctor prepared to tell him or her what her diagnosis is already
50. I love how much she shows her love for me even after so many years together

Happy 50th Birthday Leslie Gutman. I love you with all of my heart.